As I was getting out of the shower, I heard the phone ring. Jacob answered it downstairs. Since he didn’t come up to mention the call, I figured it wasn’t for me. Minutes later, after taking my morning eye drop, Jake came in and told me my mom called. He went on to tell me that my mom said my dad was having shortness of breath and chest discomfort and they were going to the hospital. I sat back on the bed and thought about canceling my appointment. Since my mom didn’t ask to get me on the phone, I assumed it was a precautionary trip to the hospital (I later found out my dad didn’t want to go to the hospital, but since he mentioned chest pain, the Maris Grove staff wouldn’t take no for an answer.) I tried to reach my mom on her mobile, but didn’t get an answer. I felt selfish, but I decided I’d keep my doctor’s appointment.

We arrived early for my 9.45 appointment (seven minutes is early for us…) After we checked in, Eliz tried to call my mom. She got the voicemail (and knowing my mom can barely make and receive calls, didn’t leave a message. A minute or two later, Eliz’s phone rang and she handed the phone to me since she needed some insurance info for the receptionist. It was my mom. I spoke to her and then my dad. My mom told me what was going on. My dad told me, “Don’t count the money yet.” At that point, I felt I made the right decision to go to my appointment.

A few minutes later, I went back into (Eye) Pod 1. I was able to read the L (but not the S) on the SL line (which is the 20/200 line.) Dr. Ayres came in a few minutes later. He asked how things were going and I told him about my appointment 12 days earlier with Dr. Garg. He seemed to get defensive when I told him what Dr. Garg said. Dr. Ayres then had a look at both eyes. He started on the right one and quickly moved on to the left after saying, “That one is trash.” This I already knew. I haven’t seen anything but light with that eye since the last century… After he looked at the left eye he told me that it looked pretty similar as previous visits.

He said the transplant looked good, though was less than perfect. (It’s from a 69 year old donor and I’ve had it for two years.) He didn’t see signs of rejection. He said he could do another transplant if I wanted, but he didn’t think it could be too much better. The downside was too steep for me, so we’ll revisit that at a later date. Dr. Ayres also noticed a bit of haze behind the lens implanted in the cataract extraction in April of this year. It’s called posterior capsule opacity. It can be dealt with doing a procedure called YAG laser capsulotomy. He said there is very little downside to this, so I am scheduled to have this done on 20 January. I’m not sure if this counts as my 16th surgery or not…

Once we finished up with my appointment, we headed down Route 1 to Riddle Hospital to see my dad. We spent about three hours with him. The cardiologist met with all of us and said he didn’t think the problem was a heart issue. After running Jane to a friends for a birthday party and a trip to Newark DE to pick up a small order, we returned to Riddle at 5.15. We visited with my dad for about 45 minutes and then took my mom home, stopping for dinner on the way (she treated us to Ruby’s Diner.) My dad was tired and seemed to want us to go. Hopefully he gets some rest and is able to go home tomorrow.

My Eye, My Dad and Our Day is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: answer, chest, chest discomfort, eye, eye drop, line, maris grove, phone, shortness of breadth, trip to the hospital

The appointment started with the typical questions from a tech about how my vision was doing, if I was experiencing any pain or discomfort, etc.  Then it was time to read the chart with my left eye.  The E was not a problem.  The next line, C and D, I could see, but if I didn’t remember it I might have said G instead of C.  The next line, which I now know is DHN, I couldn’t see.  With the pinholes, I was able to make out the H.

She moved on to my right eye.  Good news there, I can still tell if a light is off or on if it is a foot or less away from my eye…  Yippee.  She then put, or should I say shot, drops into both eyes.  God only knows how many, but it was sure more than one of each.  One is to numb the eye to get IOP (pressure) readings, while the other was to dilate my eye.  While she was doing this, she left the chart on, so I continued to try to read it.  She then used a hand-held device to get the IOP (Dr. Ayres calls this device a glorified random number generator.)  IOP was nine in the left and mid to upper 20s in the right.  The previous week at my glaucoma appointment, it was eight in the left and 13 in the right using the standard device (the one that you put your chin in, press your head against the bar, and look at the blue light.)

She waited a minute or two and then tried to get another number on the right eye.  Meanwhile, I’m still trying to read the 20/100 line on the chart.  She then said I was cheating by continuing to attempt to read the line.  Eliz didn’t like what she said and asked how I was cheating if I was just trying to read the chart.  While the lady answered Eliz, I had my hand in front of my eye, trying to simulate the pinholes while still trying to read the line.  Hey, if you don’t want me to keep trying, shut the effing thing off!  As we got up to move to the next exam room, I glanced behind the chair where the chart is bounced off of a mirror and saw that the line was DHN.  Now maybe that was cheating.  How would that help me though?  It’s not like I could get a drivers license for reading the 20/100 line.

In the next room, Dr. Garg came in and asked some questions and then had a look.  He then told me that the only thing left to try were injections in the eye.  Before we try that though, he wanted to get another OCT scan to make sure the risk/reward was worth the attempt (actually, attempts, as it would take several injections over the course of a few months for it to work.)

Tom gave me the OCT scan a few minutes later, then we headed to another exam room.  After a minute or two, Dr. Garg came in and had a look at the scan.  He said that it wouldn’t be worth trying the injections as there was only a 15% chance of them helping me see better.  At that point, I said, “Okay, so there isn’t really anything you can do for me?”  “That’s right,” he replied.  He told me I could come back in five months (why?,) or sooner if I was having any other problems.  He did tell me to make sure that I see him, Dr. Ayres, Dr. Pro, or Dr. Ruffini frequently to get IOP readings.  Seems like ‘roids that I take 2x per day in the left eye could cause the pressure to rise.  Maybe it’s time to see Dr. House, Dr. Riviera, or Oscar Goldman…

So while my vision is not cuckoo bananas (a technical term Dr. Garg used at my last appointment in June,) it’s not good either.  So what do I do now?  Some days, my vision is better than others.  Today, for example, it sucked big time (I suppose that is a technical term I picked up somewhere along the way.)  Maybe I’ll see a little better tomorrow.  I’m not holding my breathe (but would if it would help…)

It’s Not Cuckoo Bananas, But It’s Not Good Either is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: appointment, C.  The, chart, Dr. Ayres, Dr. Garg, Dr. House, Dr. Pro, Dr. Riviera, Dr. Ruffini, eye, God, H. She, iop, line, Oscar Goldman, pinholes, random number generator, retina specialist, Tom, upper 20s

So we’re driving down Lancaster Ave. after dropping Jane at softball camp at Villanova and we turn on Preston and Steve on WMMR (Eliz is a huge fan.)  They were talking about some guy who was trying to get into the Guinness Book of Records by singing the lowest note ever.  The discussion somehow turned to the Oak Ridge Boys and their hit Elvira (warning, don’t click the link, you won’t be able to get the song out of your head…)  They were talking about how deep one of the members of the band could sing, were making fun of the song and then mentioning that one of the members was from Collingswood, NJ (it is in southern New Jersey.)  I was laughing so hard I was crying.  Tears were streaming down my face for over five minutes.  When they finally stopped, we were just passing St. Joe’s on City Ave.  I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes and began to look around.  Things looked clearer to me.  We stopped at a red light and I looked at the trees and buildings and told Eliz that things looked better than before the tears flowed.

We were only a minute or two away (his office is on Presidential Blvd. in the Pagoda Building, just off City Ave.)  We sat in the car for a minute or two since we were early.  I looked at the building and the trees and things still looked better.  Once we walked in, things were still tough to see inside.  We took the elevator to his office and signed in.  Eliz grabbed a magazine and started looking through it.  I glanced at the front cover, but couldn’t make out the title, so I thought my vision was returning to its current normal.  After a few minutes, I was called back to Pod 3 (which I suggested on multiple occasions to rename EyePod 3.)  Tia was the name of the tech and she questioned me about what meds I’ve been taking and how my vision was doing.  Then she turned on the eye chart.  E looked clearer.  So did SL.  I was then able to make out the L first, then the P in the OPLB line.  (As I’ve mentioned before, I know all the lines down to DAO6, the 20/60 line, so I’m never 100% sure I’m actually seeing them.)  There is no alternative 20/100 line other then the OPLB line, like there are for the 20/80 line and better, so I was given credit for seeing the P and the L.  With the pinholes, I tried both the CAV8 (20/80) line and its numerical alternative without being able to read anything.

Dr. Ayres came in a few minutes later and I told him about what happened on the way into the appointment.  He then took a look and had me blink twice.  He noticed that my eye was losing the tear film in about five seconds (he didn’t use a stopwatch, instead opting for the technical Philadelphia, as in one Philadelphia, two Philadelphia, etc.  We always used Mississippi when we played football as kids.  You could blitz on five Mississippi…)  He then explained to Eliz and I that 10 seconds is the norm for the tear film to last after blinking.  I’m not surprised that my eyes aren’t normal.  Never have been, never will be.  He also mentioned that once the eye begins to dry, the visual acuity begins to fall.  He gave me more drops, over the counter lubricating drops for during the day, and a prescription for a drop to use at bedtime.  It is an antibiotic that evidently is somewhat thick.  It is used for infections in the eye, but I was instructed to close my eye and massage it onto the edge of my upper and lower lids.  I’ll let you know how that goes in a few days since I haven’t used it yet.  Dr. Ayres also took me off one of the steroid drops (two less drops per day) and Muro 128 (four times per day.)

Can it be that at least part of my current eye issues were discovered because of Preston and Steve?  Yup!  So, thank you Preston and Steve (and Kathy, Casey, Nick, Marisa, the Oak Ridge Boys, and that guy trying to sing the lowest note!)  Now I just have to hope that the new drop works.  Wish me luck (again…)

Almost Unbelievable… is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: Casey, City, cornea specialist, day, Dr. Ayres, Eliz, Elvira, eye, guinness book of records, Jane, Kathy, L.  With, line, Marisa, Mississippi, Nick, NJ, oak ridge boys, Philadelphia, Presidential Blvd., Preston, preston and steve, southern New Jersey, St. Joe, Steve, Tia, vision, wmmr

I get called back and the “nurse” (she is more than a helper, but I doubt she is a nurse — please correct me if I’m wrong) puts up the eye chart.  I see the big E (20/400,) but not the SL (20/200.)  She drops the pinhole thingy over my eye and after some searching for the perfect pinhole, I see the SL line.  The OPLB line looks like some black blobs and I can’t make any of the letters out.  The “nurse” says, “Oh, that’s not so bad.  It’s only one line less.”  Really?  So if you are driving down the street, you don’t think seeing a sign with letters about 12 inches tall would be much easier to see than the sign with letters about six inches tall?  I’ve wasted a ton of money on signage then if it’s not that different.

After waiting an unusually long time to see Dr. Ayers (a total of about an hour fifteen minutes,) he finally came into the room.  We exchanged pleasantries and then discussed my eyes.  I told him about my left eye and not seeing as good as I had been and I am now having greater difficulty reading on the computer.  As I put my head into the applanation tonometer (the machine with the blue light on it,) I mention that my right eye is bothering me.  He took a look at the right eye and mentioned things like corneal edema, bullae, and some other things to the “nurse” who was writing everything in my chart.  I kind of knew that I had some bullae (small, fluid-filled blisters ,) because I’ve had sinusitis and been on antibiotics for the past two weeks.  (This is the third time I’ve had sinusitis in the last four months, could it be the mold at the store?)  The problem with the bullae now though is that when they pop, the pain isn’t going away and any kind of light brings additional pain.  I thought I might have an infection in the eye.  Doc said no and to use this stuff called Muro 128, which is basically a kicked up saline solution.  It also comes in a gel that I usually use.  I suppose I could also go to the kitchen and throw some salt in my eye…

As he checked out my left eye, he noticed the “folds” straight away.  He then said the “folds” are Haab Striae and I’ve had them for a long time.  He then (tried to) show me the sketches he’s done of my eye at every visit.  He realized I couldn’t see it and told me each one has them (the striae) there.  He said my eye looks good.  My IOP was eight in the left, 16 in the right.  Wow, so everything is good!  I am so relieved.  But wait, I can’t see as well.  There’s got to be something going on.  I do have a cataract in there, but the doc says he doesn’t think it is time to remove it.  Besides, by taking that out, it may wreck the endothelia that was transplanted in December.  Dr. Ayers says, “But we could just do another one.”  He said I might be able to 20/70 or 20/80!  Of course he said I’d get to 20/100 by doing the endothelial transplant.  I guess I’ve got to wait more than 42 weeks after the surgery to get there.  He doesn’t think the cataract is the problem though.  Dr. Ayers then adds, “Whatever it is, it’s not an easy fix.”  House!  HOUSE!  Where the hell is that guy…  Oh, he’s not real?  I thought that show was one of those reality shows.

Speaking to my dad about the appointment last night, he said, “What are they gonna tell you?  They can’t fix it, it is the way it is.”  I should have listened to him.  I’d have saved a few hours and the copay.  Not too bad for a guy that only spent two weeks in high school.

I’d like to thank Ken for transporting me to my appointment.  Since Ginny and Scott aren’t with us at the store, we don’t have coverage for Eliz and I both to leave store.  Between the mold, the economy, and my vision, it might be time to get into something else.

Everything Looks Fine… is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: applanation tonometer, appointment, cornea specialist, corneal edema, Dr. Ayers, eye, fluid-filled blisters, Ginny, glaucoma, glaucoma specialist, Haab Striae, I, infection, ken, line, Mold, muro 128, nurse, saline solution, Scott, sinusitis, the economy, time, visual acuity

The nurse/assistant then put numbing drops in my eyes and took my pressure.  I’m not a fan of them taking my pressure, because they do not take their time getting a reading and are obviously not as skilled as the doctor in reading the results.  She got between 10 and 12 on my right eye (not that that eye matters.  Hell, I’d sell it to the highest bidder if I could – and no, PayPal would NOT be accepted for payment.)  She got eight in my left eye.  That eye hasn’t, pardon the pun, seen eight in quite awhile (since 5 Dec 2008, the day after my endothelial transplant, when my IOP was in the mid-teens due to something being blocked from the surgery.)  It has fluctuated between five and seven at most visits over the last six and a half years since my last trab (glaucoma surgery) in Feb 2003.  She then dilated my eyes.

Dr. Ruffini entered about 10 minutes later, and not a moment too soon, since Eliz and I had finished all the word scrambles from the paper.  I told him of my lousier than normal sight and the double vision I’ve been experiencing.  He had a look with a light that was 3457329845 times brighter than the sun.  He said he could see all the way back to the nerve in my left eye; my cornea was very clear; the cataract had grown slightly, but it wasn’t something that needed to be dealt with near-term.  He also mentioned a slight fold at the center of the endothelia.  He wasn’t sure what might have caused this, since it wasn’t there the last time.  I asked if the low IOP (hypotony) could have caused this and thought that might be it.  Wow, after 44 years of going to ophthalmologists, I actually contributed to the discussion!  He advised me to discuss the wrinkle with both the glaucoma specialist and cornea special at my upcoming appointments with them in October.

I was disappointed  when we left the appointment.  These things are going on in my eye, I still can’t see as well as I did back in March 2008 (before the problems with my cornea started,) and yet there is no solution.  Nothing.  I don’t know why I have such a hard time believing that.  I also don’t know why I’m having such a tough time dealing with it.  I’ve known since I was a little kid that this was my predicament.  Knowing doesn’t make it easier.  As my sight gets worse, I’ve gotten more miserable and I’m too young to be a grumpy old man.

Latest Eye Appointment is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: appointment, clear as day, dilated, Dr. Ruffini, endothelia, eye, eyes, glaucoma, glaucoma surgery, hypotony, L.  Then, line, low IOP, mid teens, miserable, nurse assistant, pinholes, pressure, right eye, time, word scrambles, yesterday

The tech asked how my eyes were feeling and if I’ve had any problems lately (good and not really unless you count the elbow Eliz landed on my left eye last night.)  He then asked if I was seeing any better and I responded by reciting the eye chart down to the 20/60 line.  Since he hadn’t turned on the machine yet, he knew my memory was still good.  I was a little worried when he turned the machine on.  I saw the E, but not clearly.  I also had trouble seeing the S in the SL (20/200) line.  If I didn’t know it was an S, I don’t think I would have been able to guess what it was (though there are only 26 letters in the alphabet and usually no duplicates on a line, so I knew it wasn’t an L.  I could also eliminate other letters that are not rounded, like A, K, X, H, E, F, I, M, N, T, V, W, Y, and Z.  Now I’ve got a one in 10 chance.  Is that seeing or guessing?  I told the tech my concerns.  He handed me the eye cover with all the pinholes and told me to try that.  Within 10 seconds I could see the S.  When I was rattling off all the lines before he turned the machine on, he said there were alternative lines on the machine, made up by numbers.  I asked him to go to those so that I could see if I actually could see anything there.  He put the largest line up, which was the 20/100 line.  Without the pinholes, I saw five black blobs.  With the pinholes I was able to spot the 7 all the way on the right.  I was pretty excited.

Dr. Ayers came in shortly after.  He had a look and told me things looked pretty good.  The only concern is that my IOP was six.  It has been fluctuating between six and eight for a few years, but has been at six for quite some time.  I asked if I could go swimming and was told I could.  I also asked if I could wear goggles.  Dr. Ayers advised me not to wear the goggles that the swimmers in the Olympics wear, but to use those that are larger.  Fortunately, I already own a pair of AquaSphere goggles, so I’m good to go.    Dr. Ayers told me to cut back on the Predforte to only Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays as he didn’t see any signs of rejection going on.  I’d like to be off the ‘roids at my next visit in October.  The cataract is still not ready to come out.  The amount of vision I’d pick up by having it removed isn’t worth the boatload of risk (it could wreck December’s surgery, as well as destablilize the eye as far as the glaucoma is concerned.)   That finished up my appointment and we were good to go.

So, the bottom line is that I was pleased with what Dr. Ayers told me.  I can do whatever I could do before the surgery (swim, lift heavy things – though, the heavier I get, the less I seem to be able to lift, etc.)  Still waiting on something/someone to fix my badly damaged optic nerve…

Almost Eight Months is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: 26 letters, ayers, Dr. Ayers, eye, eye chart, left eye, line, machine, pinholes, surgery, tech

Okay, enough about other stuff.  I started this blog to rant about my No. 1 frustration: my eye sight.  Here’s where I’m at now…  I am able to read on the computer with reading glasses (I never in my life thought I’d be able to walk into a drug store and purchase glasses for under $20…)  I still have to enlarge the text two or three Apple +’s, but I’ve kind of accepted it.  The readers also help me see larger printed materials (newspaper headlines, etc.)  Officially, my vision still stands at 20/200 in my left eye and hand motion at a foot in the right.  (My right eye has been a lost cause since the day I was born, so I’m STILL ready and willing to take part in some sort of crazy experiment to help me see with it.)  It doesn’t seem likely that my vision will improve much more than where it is currently.  I have been refracted twice with virtually no improvement.  We will try again in a month or two.  I am not happy.

Here comes the rant…
Three of my thirteen eye surgeries have occurred since I was 15 (1980, 2003, 2008.)  Before each one, I was very excited to have the procedures (two trabs, one partial cornea transplant) done because I thought my vision would be improved greatly.  The 1980 trab was successful and it didn’t reduce my vision (though it didn’t improve it either.)  The 2003 trab was successful in reducing my IOP, but I went from reading the 20/100 line to the 20/200 line.  The 2008 partial cornea transplant was successful in removing the bad endothelia and replacing it with a good (but 25 years older than me) endothelia.  My vision is no longer cloudy, but I still can only read the 20/200 line.  It looks clearer than it did a year ago, but I still have trouble seeing TV, movies, sporting events, peoples faces, and just about anything else.  I was hoping to get to 20/100 and from what both my cornea specialist and my local ophth said, it seemed possible.  I had great fantasies of having a catch with my daughter as she worked on her softball pitching mechanics, throwing a football around with whoever, going to a Phillies game, Flyers game, Eagles game, or soccer friendly between two of Europe’s best teams and actually see what is going on.  I’d take tons of pictures with my camera and mess around with them in Photoshop.  All of those will have to wait, if I can ever do it at all.  My biggest problem is trying to get past the frustration and find something else that I do like to do.  I just can’t seem to move forward.  Got any ideas?

Six Months Later is a post from: ICantCU.com | © 2009, iCantCU.com. All Rights Reserved.

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Post tags: cornea, Europe, eye, game, hand motion, ken, line, reading glasses, salon supplies, school payroll, three apple, vision